what dictates how we change & grow?…
small girl watching fireworks show
oversized sweater to fend of the cold
clutching flashlight in one hand, her daddy’s in the other
eyes reflecting tiredness & wonder
i dont know why, but she makes me miss
some intangible memory, some feeling
the way we grow; together, apart;
random happenstance into who we are
so maddening the attempt to solidify these obtuse emotions…
more like an ocean churning in me…
to name & claim how i want things to be
with pen & paper, near impossibility
the way when i feel like this
with all my might, i yearn & wist
you were still here to let me cry;
cry & scream & swear & sigh
let out these emotions until they die
wish you were here to by my rock,
cuz everything else is certainly not.
so pointless.

(December 14, 2005)


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